02/06/2008: "Raindrops in your hair."

music: The movie Traffic
mood: Lonely

I'm lonely. I don't really know what else to say. Mango is a lot of fun. I'm at home. I hate being at home - I feel stifled. I can't wait to live on my own and not this back and forth crap between my dorm and my house. I haven't seen Josh in a long time. I haven't talked to any friends but I don't really care about that. I feel guilty going out when I am staying at home. I feel like my mom wants me to stay here and help her with everything. I haven't left my house in several days, even though the weather is really nice. I wanted to visit Paola and Rebekah but Josh's work schedule doesn't really work with it. So I might visit them with some other friends from my school, if they don't forget about me. I don't know. I just want to sit and rot. My friend Berhana called me today but I haven't called her back yet. It was really nice of her though... and friendly.

Here is a poem.

Raindrops in Your Hair (November 17, 2003)

When the world is crumbling to your knees
The darkness through the tunnel is all you see
Ancient dynasties with roots of steel
come collapsing into the ocean
smoothly, like Dominoes, none left forgotten.
Tornados sweep through the lonely mountains,
like chambermaids rushing to finish their shifts
and come home to a dusty, abandoned apartment
Some days feel like tug o' war
when drinking coffee in the backyard swing
feels like a brainwashed trip downtown in the city
The only bargain you can afford is that
lousy pair of faded sneakers
which somehow lost its class around the 1960's.
But who needs two old shoes anyway,
when going barefoot seems so much easier?
Sitting on the cold brick steps
with light pink shorts and flipflops
just doesn't feel the same when you remember
the times you used to spend at the summer's end
with a popsicle in your hand, and a whole yard full of company
with enough fireflies to set the moon ablaze.
When you look around, you never understand
So you always just pretend you never even cared
and sometimes you cover your face and cry
because those raindrops in your hair,
they tell you everything you ever wanted to know.